You are not alone! The mind for most people is an untamed beast that runs wild without any idea how to stop it. It can be tamed however, and taming it is the key to happiness.

What you think is how you perceive life. The journey of happiness and inner peace relies on a positive and peaceful perception of our life. It’s how we perceive our life that will determine how we feel about it. Stress is caused by the way we are perceiving an event; person; experience. We cannot control life. We can however learn to control our thoughts about life.

This is really great news for you because it means that when you learn how to master your mind, and consciously choose your thoughts, there is an opportunity to feel inner peace, joy and happiness often. Life does not have to be stressful when you begin to master your mind and see that the way you view life is a choice.

Although you may not feel in control of your thoughts now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. If happiness, inner peace and contentment all stem from our thoughts about life, then what is more important than learning to master the mind?

To me, this is the single most important thing to learn in our life. It’s the one thing we can control. This brings great relief to many when they finally realise that even though they may not have the life they want yet, they can still be happy and peaceful. Sure, they may striving towards a greater life; more money, better car, better health etc, but their happiness does not rely on the outcome. Happiness is the journey not the destination.

Meditation is a key in mastering the mind. It teaches you how to observe your thoughts and detach from them. Many think that meditation involves sitting for long periods of time and having a clear mind. This is not the case. Meditation is simply learning to observe the mind and sometimes the body; or breath. Even if your mind is busy, simply observing the incessant thoughts is meditating.

There are many kinds of different meditations. Open eye, walking, movement, breath focused, chanting, visualisations, chakra and many more. All these kinds of meditations are now on offer at Holistic Wellness Coaching. We encourage you to try a class and commit to a practice. You will be surprised that meditation is not just for hippys and there will be a style that you can enjoy and receive immense benefit from.

Tamika Hilder
Wellness Coach/Speaker/Writer

How do you define yourself?

I have asked this question of some of my clients and they generally answer ‘I am a mother, father, wife, husband, partner, my occupation, my hobbies, my sports etc….

Imagine discovering that you are so much more than what you label yourself.

All the labels we attach to ourselves come with conditions, limiting beliefs and expectations.

Your belief that you are ‘a great runner’ or ‘a successful accountant’ may be stopping you from following your dreams of wanting to be a ‘swimmer’ or a ‘teacher’.

When you understand that your are not your labels and that your are not defined by them you empower yourself to discover who you truly are and that you are a soul and unlimited.
Take the journey of discovery and unleash those dreams and passions which have been lying dormant, you know what they are.

Tips for discovering the real you:

• Make a list of ‘How do I define myself.
• List the positive qualities I see in myself.
• List the positive qualities others see in me.
• List my dreams.
• List what I love doing.
• List what gives me peace and contentment.
• List what energises me and also what de-energises me.
• List who can help me discover me.
• List one thing I can do today to discover ‘who I am’ and do it!
• Meditate – go inside to find the real me.

Book a session with Joy today to discover your unlimited untapped potentiality of self

1. Know What You Want

Write a list of the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual qualities that you are looking for in a partner. The more detailed and specific you are the more likely it is that you will find the person you are looking for. Set a date by which this relationship would have started and have a clear picture in your mind of your circumstances on that date. You must also know how much intimacy you want and be clear about the level of commitment you are looking for.

2. Be Open to Love

Being truly open means that even though you’re looking for that special One, you’re receptive to love from wherever it comes. Your Mr. Right might show up in a way you never expected and might look different from what you’ve imagined.

3. Don’t Commit Too Soon

Even though you feel sure that you have met the One, getting to know someone takes time. Maintain your sense of self and don’t make one person the centre of your universe. Keep your options open and keep yourself from having that “needy” vibe. Let commitment happen naturally rather than feeling that you have to control it. Two people’s commitment timelines may vary greatly and this may require one of you to be patient.

4. Relax and Soften Your Body Language

Next time you are with someone that you feel attracted to, take a moment and notice what your body is doing. Chances are your nerves are showing up in the form of tense shoulders, a tight chest and shallow breathing. In new relationships, people often become overly self-conscious of themselves and they fail to display their natural qualities that the other person would find so alluring.

5. Stay Present

Don’t think too far ahead about what may happen down the track. Focusing on the future and “what ifs” not only keeps you from enjoying the present moment and discovering who this person is, but staying stuck in your head keeps you from connecting with them where it truly counts – in their heart.

6. Share Your Feelings Without Making The Other Person Responsible

There are bound to be scenarios that “press your buttons” or upset you at one time or another. He’s late (again) or he forgets to call. The key is to express your feelings in a clear, non-blaming way that invites your partner to be part of the solution rather than “making them wrong” and pushing them away.

7. Stop Pretending You’re Something You’re Not

How often have you hidden the real you when you’re with someone you feel attracted to? You might feel that if you reveal the quirky things about yourself, you’ll scare them away…or that if you disagree, you’ll rock the boat. But nothing can be further from the truth. Let go of the need to be perfect and let love in. Stop censoring yourself. Start allowing the person who will love you for who you are make their way into your life. Boost your self-esteem to help you feel confident enough to reveal your true self.

8. Switch The Channel to “Receive”

You might think that in order to impress your lover, you need to do many things for them. But the truth is that many people fall in love by how much they give to you – not the other way around. The right partner for you will want to please you, make you happy, and do nice things for you. So let them! Enjoy and appreciate all that they have to offer. Be aware of the natural flows of giving and receiving…

9. Always Put Yourself First

Do you often feel rundown in relationships? Does it feel as if you keep giving more and more without getting anything in return? If you want to inspire romance, putting your partner’s needs before yours is entirely counterproductive. While it’s true that every relationship is give and take, you still need to take care of yourself first. When someone sees that you treat yourself with kindness and respect, they’ll know that you have a high sense of worth and a healthy self-esteem – both of which are very attractive.

10. Remember that you can’t say the wrong thing to the right person

As long as you speak from your heart, the person who is going to love you will not be scared away – they will work with you through conflict and this will bring you closer together. Of course, you need to make your partner feel safe enough to express their own feelings, and the way you do this is by expressing your own in a non-blaming way. As you build a solid foundation of safety and mutual acceptance, love doesn’t just thrive – it flourishes. There’s no need for you to ever feel afraid of speaking your heart, yet speaking from the heart is for many people one of the hardest things to do.

Book a session with Zenya Horthy to transform or attract your ideal relationship.

It was through learning meditation a number of years ago that I was able to discover ‘Who I am’, which is not my name, my occupation, my roles etc….. I am a pure loving soul with all the qualities I need to achieve anything I want. By loving myself I found clarity in my thoughts and have been able to achieve so much more than I ever imagined.

How can you love and accept others if you don’t love and accept yourself?

My tips for a better relationship with yourself:

1. Discover who you are
When you understand the true essence of who you really are, your true magnificence is revealed to you. By unveiling unresolved emotions and limiting beliefs you really appreciate yourself. You begin to listen to your inner wisdom to discover and understand yourself and how you relate to others. You are then empowered to be the best you can be to achieve your life’s goals and purpose.

2. Focus on what you want
Anxiety, stress and worry are created by thinking about things not turning out the way we want them to. You get what you focus on. Research has proven that the mind is unable to distinguish between what you vividly imagine and what is real. When you focus on what you want and see things turning out the way you want them to be, the anxiety will disappear.

3. Take responsibility for your life
Ask yourself how you contributed or participated in situations rather than blaming others or circumstances. You are responsible for your own feelings, thoughts and actions. When you blame you feel powerless to change the situation. When you take responsibility you are empowered and you are in the best state to take charge of creating the life you desire.

4. Identify what is holding you back (your limiting beliefs)
Sometimes fears or unresolved emotions from the past can cause us to attract the same unwanted situation or people into our lives. Our beliefs can also hold us back. Believing you are not good enough, not worthy or undeserving of success can sometimes stop you taking action. By identifying what is holding you back you allow yourself to be free to pursue your deepest dreams, to take action and to find true fulfilment within yourself and in life.

5. Change any unwanted behaviours or habits
Addressing any unwanted habits or behaviours will help you to stop beating yourself up about your habits and you will be happier within yourself. This requires some understanding and reprogramming of your unconscious triggers and drivers to make long term changes.

6. Practice Forgiveness
Forgiveness is love in action, once you learn to forgive yourself you can then forgive others. Forgiveness will set you free to be able to achieve all your dreams and goals.

7. Nurture and reward yourself
Acknowledge your successes, however small, each day. Most people are really good at beating themselves up no matter how much they have achieved. Your best friend can be your self-talk and it can also be your saboteur. Replace anything negative you say to yourself about yourself with a special word or phrase. Do something for yourself that you would do for a loved one and celebrate your magnificence.

To have a session with Joy Reynolds (Hypnotherapist and Life Coach) click here.